Seth's Rant for August 16th, 2002

Dumbass Postal Critters

It's been a while since I've written down a good rant, so let me get back into the swing of things with one that's been bothering me for years:


I'm not talking about the inevitable mistakes of letters being occasionally dropped or misdirected.

I'm talking about systematic policies AGAINST delivering perfectly well addressed and postage paid mail.

In the past eight years, I've had about a dozen occasions on which some postal critter, usually trying to be "helpful", has screwed up my mail delivery. Here are some of the reasons the Post Office has given each time large amounts of my mail have been returned, misdirected, or in some cases destroyed:

Do you notice a theme here? Instead of just delivering the mail to the address that is on the envelope, these idiots keep trying to THINK. Why on Earth does the Post Office presume that it knows better than me who is living at my address? And what would posses someone to just assume that we had moved without so much as ASKING??

What I really don't understand is WHY the Post Office doesn't just have a policy that mail should be delivered to the address on the envelope. Is that really such a difficult concept? Why do they feel that it is necessary to second guess the person who sent the letter?

As if it's not bad enough that the Post Office refuses to deliver mail to correct addresses, they also seem to feel the need to actively change correct addresses into incorrect ones!

The latest amazing act of stupidity is that the Official US Postal Service Database has my address listed as being 3 blocks north of where I actually live. This in itself doesn't seem to affect my USPS mail delivery because the carrier knows the difference. But damn near every utility, mail-order house, courier, and service provider in the country tries to "correct" my address to match the Postal Database. So a constant parade of FedEx trucks, UPS deliverymen, Cable repair guys, and anyone else looking for my house goes circling around the block looking for an address that doesn't exist.

Granted, part of this is the fault of all those idiots who blindly accept the Post Office version as gospel. All praise to Discover Card who actually give you a choice to accept or reject the Post Office's "correction".

I understand that the Post Office is run by human beings and that mistakes will happen. But when they institutionalize policies of deliberately screwing up my mail, I really have to wonder if perhaps there might be a market for a private postal service. (I was going to suggest something much more violent, but it seems that public honesty has become illegal recently... a rant for another time.)

This rant solely reflects the opinion of the author, probably while he was half asleep, drunk, or otherwise incapacitated. It does not necessarily reflect the actual opinion of DEI, it's associates, or possibly the author in a more conscious state. Hate mail will be prosecuted. Constructive criticism may be posted or ignored. Have a nice day.

Seth B. Noble - Rant - sbnoble - August 16, 2002